10 December 2009


early morning
[sorry for the poor quality]

- relief to be done with this week that was over-saturated with research papers... whew!
- warm cheeks from drinking a full sail amber
- cozy toes in my new wool socks

- soo many clementines!  i bought a big bag and have been eating them constantly; i've been leaving little piles of peels.  what's more satisfying than removing the rind in one piece?
- the whole-wheat chocolate-chip banana bread i baked, mmm...

- the one thing about montana is that there are hardly as many birds as there are in new england, and i miss all the chirping.  yet this morning, i woke up and all i could hear was birds singing.  perhaps they were passing through, but either way it was a lovely sound to wake up to
- the beautiful voices of mariee sioux ["flowers and blood"] and alela diane ["tatted lace"]

- chlorine from my bathing suit; i've been swimming about three times a week which has been so awesome
- citrus wonder from all my clementine peels
- ginger from the cookies my roommate baked - SO good

- another person awake in the very early morning (top picture)
- the sun shining through the pretty wine bottles left on my windowsill from a week ago (bottom picture)

-watching the light change from my big cozy bed.  those red flannel sheets are just too good.

late morning

09 December 2009

I am almost done!  I can see the end!  It's far, but at least it's in sight now. 
In the midst of all the research papers and exams, I've been repeating a Goethe quote like a mantra:
"Do not hurry.  Do not rest."

07 December 2009


The ice on the windows had been thawing in the afternoon sunlight the past couple weeks, but not today.

Today it stays frozen, as the temperatures peak at 5 degrees.  5!

I'm floundering in an abyss of end-of-the-semester work, such as research papers, last minute readings, making flashcards, that other research paper (oh crap) that I had forgotten about which is due in two days and I haven't even picked a topic yet.  Yeah.  That's how it's going.  So, it (has been and) will be quiet here for a couple days.
"If you gaze for long into an abyss, the abyss gazes also into you" - Nietzsche

02 December 2009

here to risk your heart

I'm working on a research paper about the presence of the four elements in Louise Erdrich's collection of short stories that I highly recommend - The Red Convertible.
I stumbled upon this quote while perusing through different interviews, and after recently dwelling on life as fleeting, it really resonated as a reason to surge onward.
Life will break you. Nobody can protect you from that. And living alone won't either, for solitude will also break you with its yearning. You have to love. You have to feel. It is the reason you are here on Earth. You are here to risk your heart.
From an NPR interview on 10/2/05


Has anyone else been really into gold lately?  I feel like all of my recent purchases (SIGG water bottle from REI, locally made peace crane, fair trade earrings from Kenya, and fish necklace purchased from the local bead shop) have been gold.  Maybe it's because of all the gold hues found outside lately...

Click on this picture to see the little peeping tom that has been awfully curious outside my window lately.

01 December 2009

thoughts on a winter evening

Does the realization that everything is fleeting ever whack you over the head?

Perhaps it's the changing of the seasons - the slow and steady shift into a quiet, constant cold.

Perhaps it's the recent passing of a friend - one whose name meant Sun in Lithuanian, whose radiant smile was constant, and who memorized poems and prayers.

Perhaps it's the fact that I only have one more semester before graduating, and it seems like it was just a few years ago that the idea of even being in college was so grown up.

I think it has to be a combination of all these reasons, and others, but even though everything is indeed fleeting, it's okay, because isn't it all so beautiful?

my my, that moon

 I talked with my dear friend Jordan today.   While the sunlight was dwindling here, casting that golden glow on the mountains, it was dark on the east coast where she was, and she kept raving about the moon.  How curious, to hear how beautiful the moon will be before it's appeared.  And let me say, I was smitten as well.  Tomorrow is the full moon, and I'll be strolling up in the North Hills with Alex, letting the moonlight show the path.
I'm listening to NPR's live coverage of Obama's address on Afghanistan, partly because his voice is soothing to me (is that weird?), partly because I feel a responsibility to know what our country is doing, and partly because I know at work tomorrow, people will come in ranting or raving about it, and I don't want to just shrug.
I've had trouble sleeping lately, and it's really starting to bother me because it's affecting my days.  Last night my brain was buzzing at 2:30am, thinking about love, death, falling, traveling, writing, buzzzz!  And then I slept through my first, very important, class.  Ugh.
For now, I'm off to make myself huevos rancheros for dinner, which I make for myself very often, but when you have a whole bunch of ripening avocados, what choice do you have?  That's just an excuse - I'm simply addicted.
Oh, and happy December!