18 July 2010

baby steps

I've been thinking a lot about this space and what I share here.  Not a lot, as I've realized, scrolling through the past couple months' entries.  And it's funny because the blogs I enjoy the most are the ones where people are really putting themselves out there, sharing moments from their lives, exposing their weaknesses along with all the other great shiny stuff.  But there's this fine line where it turns into exhibitionism, and I don't have the faintest idea of where that line lies.  While this is meant to a be a journal for my creative experiments and explorations, I would also like for it to be a journal of some of my daily realm as well, and it will certainly be taking much more of that essence while I'm in Antarctica.  I think it's possible that one might get a sense of who I am or what I stand for in the photos that I take and post, and the snippets of thoughts I expose from time to time.  But it takes a different brand of bravery to really step out into the blog spotlight, I think.  I've been looking to blogs that I think have really mastered this - For Me, For You, Color Me Katie, The Art of Seeing Things… these lovely women don't put their entire lives out there, but you really get the feel for their personhood, their passions.  So I'm going to start taking more baby steps here, start putting myself out there, stop worrying about what everyone thinks or who reads this. 

A couple of things to share at the moment:

- I just saw Inception.  The concept and the originality completely blew my mind.  Whenever I see or experience something this wildly creative, it always leaves me in a bit of a wake where I feel somewhat miserable, thinking that I can never possibly create something so bold or imaginative.  I'm working on reframing this thought.  Regardles, go see it.  It's one of those films that demands to be seen in the theater.

- I've been thinking about writing a memoir-ish piece based on the lovers I've had in life.  The idea of sexual encounters as markers on a timeline is very fascinating to me.  Just as all people do, I have a very complicated relationship with Love (yes, capital L), and I've been trying to sort through it.  I think I'll write more about this sometime soon.

- There are only two weeks and five days until I am supposed to be going to Antarctica.  I haven't been PQ'd yet (physically qualified) because my labs leaked in the mail (what!? how does that happen?!) and I had to go in last week and do them all over again.  I'm not sure what happens if you don't get PQ'd in time, but I have my fingers crossed that everything gets sorted out quickly.

-It's still too hot for my liking.  But I'm working on embracing it, considering it was -92F with the windchill yesterday at McMurdo Station (where I'll be stationed in Antarctica).  Yikes.

5 comments:

  1. It seems you've put a lot of thought into this decision. I know I hold back on many occasions because I do worry about who might read what I write. For now, I'm trying to make sure that I write about these held back things, but the writing remains in notebooks. Perhaps I'll change my mind one day, but for now, this is working for me. I've enjoyed this space and I'm looking forward to reading along as you make changes.

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  2. (Sorry for the extremely long comment, haha)

    -92 qualifies as absolutely insane. I think midwesterners have a tendency to almost brag about the -40 degrees that they encounter during January/Feb, but you should be careful, lady!

    I am in absolute and total support of you exposing more of yourself through your blog! Not to sound 80 years old but it's always scary with the internet especially with a public blog (which is my own personal neuroticisms are all private). But you have so much to share and I looove reading your blog!

    Lastly you should TOTALLY write a memoir. I'm writing one too (though somewhat fictional because I'm too uncomfortable to do otherwise) and I can't imagine a more interesting topic than the one you proposed! I've read so many memoirs and the most interesting ones are the ones that have dealt with sexuality/lovers/whatever... I've always felt real stories are so much more interesting, because they are SO universal, and so many people are so afraid to talk about things that are so natural and lovely and fascinating.

    Hehe sorry for the long comment... I am just super excited for you to go to Antarctica and explore even more of the world :) Someday I'm going to see you again and it's going to be AWESOME!!!

    -Kyla

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  3. I enjoyed this post.
    I really think you should write that memoir. It sounds really interesting. Of course, the first thing that came to mind when you wrote that was "Loose Girl", it's a memoir too, but a good book.

    If you've ever been to my blog, you've probably noticed that I'm one of those blogs that doesn't write much about my life.

    If you can write, then do it. Write all you can. Be proud of it.

    I can't. I have other blogs I write personal things in and then I get ashamed of them and delete them. I think the reason I don't write in my blog is because I know my real friends know of my blog.

    I guess you could say I'm kind of jealous of those who can write stories about who they are and their life experiences. I'm looking forward to see all the things you write. :) I hope you put a lot of honesty into it.

    Dori.

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  4. wow antarctica! i can't wait to hear about your adventures.

    it's funny how these little blogs of ours become such an outlet for creativity. i'm excited to see what's in store for you.

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  5. thank you for your kind words, liz and thank you also for sharing snippets of your world with us.

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